Have you ever been stuck on how to say I’m sorry? Has someone ever stated that they don’t believe you’re sorry? Has someone ever said, "You’re just saying what I want to hear, but you don’t know why you’re apologizing"? Dr. Gary Chapman identifies 5 universal ways that people apologize. Sincerity is more easily expressed when you believe what you are saying, and you use words that the other person can receive. Pick the type of apology that resonates with you. Try one of these the next time you need to give a sincere apology that the other person will be able to recognize.
1.Expressing regret -Acknowledge that you have caused the other person pain. "I'm sorry I called you that name. I know that may have hurt your feelings and I'm sorry for saying that."
2. Accepting responsibility – This focuses on admitting to what you did wrong. "That was wrong for me to call you names and insult you. I shouldn't have done that."
3.Making restitution – This focuses on making up for what was wrongfully done. " I shouldn't have called you that name. Please tell me how I can make up for it."
4.Expressing the desire to change behavior – "I keep yelling when I'm upset and I know that's not helpful. I want to stop doing that. Can you help me think of something I can do to change that and
stop."
5.Requesting forgiveness – This is where you ask for forgiveness in order for the apology to be seen as sincere. “I’m so sorry I yelled and reacted like that. I know that really bothers you. Will you please
forgive me?”
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